Q:What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: One in 50,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Take your foot off it's head.
Q: What's the difference between a Catfish and a lawyer?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other is a fish.